What exactly is emotional intelligence? It’s the ability to recognise, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as to empathise with and navigate the emotions of those around us.
It’s about becoming aware of the subtle nuances of our feelings, thoughts, and actions and developing the skills to respond in a way that aligns with our values and aspirations.
Mindfulness, on the other hand, is the art of being fully present in the moment, without judgement or attachment. It invites us to cultivate a state of heightened awareness, observing our thoughts, sensations, and emotions with curiosity and kindness. By practising mindfulness, we can cultivate a deep sense of calm, inner resilience, and profound self-awareness.
To grasp the importance of responding instead of reacting, we must first understand the fundamental differences between these two approaches. Reactions are often reflexive, ego-driven, and focus solely on immediate outcomes.
https://bryjaimea.com/articles/mental-health/react-vs-respond/
The Role of Anger
Anger — both direct and indirect (or passive) — is meant to communicate something important. But it can also drive people away. What you really want is to connect and be heard, but when anger is involved, the result is often just the opposite. Aggression in any form is the biggest impediment to emotionally intelligent communication.
People often think passive-aggressive communication is somehow better or “nicer.” It’s not. In fact, it may actually be worse. Unfortunately, it’s what many people resort to, to their own detriment. The French have a wonderful expression for passive aggression: sous-entendu. It means “what is understood underneath.” In other words, you’re saying one thing that sounds innocent, but really means another that can actually be quite vicious. If you are looking for a true and meaningful connection and understanding with another person, you need a better strategy.
Research shows that a hostile communication style will drive people away: Whether you’re aggressive or passive-aggressive, people will react negatively to you. They will feel uncomfortable, they won’t understand what is going on, and they’ll want to get away from you.
Here’s how you can communicate anger without destroying your relationships. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
“You can do 100 things right, but it takes only one thoughtless reactive action to destroy it all.”
– Dr. Joseph Levry
Lessons from history
One of the most notable names in Greek mythology is Hercules, born a demigod by Zeus and Hera. Hercules was one of the Stoic philosophers’ beloved gods, and generally, throughout history for his ability to overcome adversity. One of the most well-known myths involving the demi-god is his triumphant escapades in The Twelve Labors of Hercules. I will present a shorthand summary of the story.
Hera (his mother) vowed to eradicate Hercules because he resembled her disloyal husband, Zeus. Sounds like a pretty mean mother, if you ask me. However, after Hercules kills his wife and children after going insane from the madness Hera struck upon him, he is put in a position to make up for his wrongs by fulfilling twelve impossible quests assigned to him from Eurystheus, king of Tiryns. Through discipline, courage, and superhuman strength – Hercules overcomes all of these obstacles.
The moral of the story is that we can’t control some things in our life, and we should respond with the best of our abilities and virtue in times of crisis. Hercules didn’t choose his mother’s desire to kill him or be assigned with the most challenging quests within Greek mythology, but he handled it all with a calm resilient attitude. Life is difficult, but we can choose to overcome each challenge or emotion, one at a time, with a responsive mindset.
Intelligence has a vast arena of definitions and meanings, and one of the most beneficial forms is emotional intelligence.
If you desire to better understand, use, and manage your emotions in a positive way, a great place to start is learning how to respond instead of reacting.
https://healthybodyathome.com/reacting-vs-responding-emotional-intelligence/
Action Vs. Reaction — Reaction is Often Our First Instinct
Reaction is often instinctual. It’s emotional, it’s raw, and it feels damn good.
But when we react, we aren’t just being emotional, we are giving our power away to someone else.
Reacting says that someone else has the power; the power over how we feel, how we act, and over the situation itself.
Reaction often solves nothing — and can often lead us down a path of negativity and regret.
If we are extremely reactionary, it can be hard to break the habit. But, if for just one second we can stop and apply circle of action thinking to the situation, we put the power back in our hands and deal with the situation more effectively.
Action Vs. Reaction — Action is Power
By stepping back and considering our options, we can take control over any given situation and help determine the outcome.
This kind of action response can help us learn from our mistakes and improve ourselves in a way that can help us increase our chances for success in any area of our lives.
Life is in your hands. You have a choice to make—either to react or to respond to a conflict or a tricky situation. It is said that below-average individuals talk about individuals, average individuals talk about issues, and above-average individuals talk about ideas. Everything is present in the human mind, and informs how an individual views a scenario and approaches to handle it.
Your life depends on the path you choose and the decisions you make. Life is full of challenges, and people face problems from the cradle to the grave. Responding rather than reacting makes sense, and makes your life peaceful and pleasant. It also helps you to empathize with others when they have problems of their own.
Reacting often leaves us in the lurch. However, with time, patience, and practice, you can make responding your primary method of dealing with tricky situations. Sometimes people magnify tiny problems and worry a lot, resulting in more provocative reactions. Certain things in our lives are beyond our control. There is no point in reacting to such situations. People often waste their precious energies by brooding over things over which they have no control.
https://trainingmag.com/dont-react-act/
Words act as a powerful lens through which we perceive, interpret, and analyze our world. Words also label and define our experiences; what we think, the emotions we feel, the actions we take, and the interactions we have with others. As a result, when speaking or writing, it’s essential to use highly descriptive words of what we want to communicate.
Two essential words in our lexicon are react and respond. At first blush, they seem to have the same meaning, and my thesaurus indicates that each is a synonym for the other. Yet, through my work, I have come to see a profound difference in the meaning of these two words, particularly when faced with difficult situations. Each of these words produces different reactions/responses to life experiences, particularly stressful ones.
Would you rather react or respond to a situation? The Latin root of react is “back, to do, perform.” The key takeaway is that you are taking action back at someone or something. In contrast, the Latin root of respond is “back, answer.” The key takeaway is that you are answering back to someone or something, usually in words.
Thankfully, a part of our evolution has involved the emergence of the cerebral cortex and, more specifically, our prefrontal cortex, which governs what has become widely known as our “executive functioning,” which is associated with memory, analysis, planning, problem-solving, weighing risks and rewards, considering short-term and long-term costs and benefits, and decision making.
Referring back to the Latin root of respond, in answering in words, we are activating our cerebral cortex and thus using our evolved brain to deal with the complicated and far more common challenges we face in the 21st century. We can engage in deliberate thinking and thoughtful decision-making, which then guide our thinking, emotions, and behavioral responses to the situation we face. These responses produce much more desirable outcomes to those in which we react. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-power-prime/202110/the-difference-between-reacting-and-responding
UNIVERSE 